Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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You know you have no friends when you steal someone's ALIAS concept and disrespect what is perhaps the most intellectually satisfying form of humour. [L]

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops