A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom? It having to eat its way out. Whats worse than it having to eat its way out? It comes back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing you mum having ***

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops