Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

thumb_up thumb_down -9

It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's 1+1? 69.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops