Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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