So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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Where did Adolf go as a vacation after the war? Hell

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. the bartender says thats cool where did you get it ....... the parrot says africa

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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