why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

quantum physics?

How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

I'm Coming

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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