What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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