What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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Whats worse then any minority? The fact they still exist.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Why did Billy fall off the tree? Why? Because he had no arms or legs. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy

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Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Why did nobody like Anne? She was disabled

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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