Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they have been run over by a car? Dead.

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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A man is driving and hits a woman. Who's fault is it? The man's: pedestrians always have the right of way.

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What's long and black? A line at KFC.

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

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okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

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A prostitution ring operates out of a subway. How much does the prostitute with a foot long penis cost? About $300, for a 12 inch penis is very rare and desirable.

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven was a registered sex offender.

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A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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Why did the boy engage in oral sex with the other boy. He was a hormonal homosexual.

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what is funnier than 24.....?????? 69. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE ME AND YOUR MAMA

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A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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