Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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