Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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Knock Knock Come in

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops