Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

What's the difference between a black man and a orange? One is a fruit and other isn't

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

why is brennan hart a dumbass idk ask his mom

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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