A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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A bar walks into a man

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops