what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

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What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

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Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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If you send someone fudge, you should write them a poem with it Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge!

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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Why did the blond fail her math test? Because she got all the questions wrong.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

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What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops