why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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Why was the boy mentally retarded? Because his mother was a tree

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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Roses are Expensive. Violets are Gay. Poems are for pussies... Have a nice day!

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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