Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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Who hangs out with a girl all day every day while he's dating her for 4 months and still doesn't get his wiener touched. Adam claypool

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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What happened to the frog that broke down? It got toad.

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Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops