How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

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the WNBA.

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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