A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken saw some potential food across the street.

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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whats deead and gone lewis`s dog. well now it is

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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What did Chuck Norris say when he stubbed his toe? "Oh shit I stubbed my toe."

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

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Q: One little blond girl went walking on her own. A: 17 didn't come back.

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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hi michael

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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So three ants are in a straight line. The first ant said there's an ant behind me, the second ant said there's an ant behind me, and the third ant said there's an ant behind me. Why is this? The third ant lied.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

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What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

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Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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friend 1: Alright man, i got your back friend 2: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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