- Anti Joke

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

If life gives you lemonade.

Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

A man walks into a bar the bartender looks at the man and says "Hey son you wanna make one hundred bucks?" the man looks at the bartender and says "Im not your son."

Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

Yo Momma So Fat!

What's gay and Jewish? Henry Shine

What is fat and ginger? No...Not Garfield...Rebeka Tims

ill have a no.9 a n.9 large

What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.