What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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Women's Rights.

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops