What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?" Oh ya he had alzheimers.

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense MICROWAVE

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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A young cow died of terminal cancer; he said moo before he died

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Knock Knock there's a doorbell

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Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

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How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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Little Susie fell of the swings. Where did she go? On the ground.

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roses are red,violets,are green who tf shit in the toilet?

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ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

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A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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