Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

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Lucy laughed at the joke. Then realised she had gangrene.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why doesn't a duck's quack echo? Evolution.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

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What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

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Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

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Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

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K O O K A B U R R A . . . . . . . . . . ReTweet

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what did the black guy say to the white guy? black guy: hello how are you doing white guy: good i guess.... just heard they shut down KFC black guy: that sucks

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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