roses are blue, violets are red. I am color blind

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guess what the clown said to the kid... im a clown

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3

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

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A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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There's a black man and a mexican in a car who's driving ? The black man because the mexican is intoxicated and they both want to prevent serious injury or death

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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guess what>? your mum lol

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why did joe diragi cross the road there was food on the other side

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

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A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Why did the clown drink all the sweet wine? Because he was an alcoholic.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

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What do you do if a black man steals your flatscreen TV? Give up, he's probably in Mexico by now.

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What did the 20-year old woman say too the old man? HI GRANDPA!

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

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why did benny go to the 4th grade school nurse? he had a massive erection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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