You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Q - What's the difference between a Park Bench and a Black Man ? A - The Park Bench can support a family.

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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there is a fat ass bitch who lives in littlefield TX, her name...Krista. her facebook.... NannyGrizzly. I hate her!!! with a pasion... she was my neighbor... i can hear her yelling all the time. Please... someone give her a reason to yell. .................Facebook..........Nannygrizzly.......do....something.....about.......her.... thank you. Ima TROLE!!!!! hahahahaahhhahahahahahahaahha. damn it. (: v P PS. she is a bitch

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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