- Anti Joke

They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops