Badabing.

How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

12/23/2012

Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

Why do fat people commit suicide

Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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