what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What do you do when a blonde takes the pin out of a grenade and throws it at you? Take cover as there is a person close to you wielding an active grenade.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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A guy walks into a bar, unfortunately for him, he walked in on a huge bar fight and managed to get the hell knocked out of him as he entered the door.

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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whats worse than dieing in an airplane? jumping out of the airplane to save yourself and emediatly getting shredded by the massive engine you did not have the wits to see.

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How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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A blonde walks into a bar. She got free drinks.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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