why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

the lemon was sweet.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

school homewrok

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

thumb_up thumb_down +22

So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops