Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Listen, I do not really care anymore, I admit it, I dont mind screwing with people, but if your name is Tifa, my name is lets see... Solid Snake, yeah, but call me big boss. Listen, be honest with me, if you do not trust me, just do not give me a random name, Tifa as in Tifa Lockheart? Final Fantasy? Wake up, girl/guy, you are losing your touch at this.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +10

THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's big fat and hairy? Peter

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops