Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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it was dark outside so u know what i did....went to sleep

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Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

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Why did Timmy start a fire? Because Timmy was a derranged phycopath

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mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

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What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops