Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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