A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

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What do you call a Black White supremisist? Well you see the Black man was blind and thought he was a racists redneck. He then contracted cancer.

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

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im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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