What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

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Q: What did Jenna Jameson say when she heard hard banging near the front door? A: Come inside

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I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

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what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

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The schoolboy said to the bus driver, this is my stop the bus driver replied "no, we have a while to go yet"

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

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what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

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What do you call an arab ?

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what duz 69 mean? its a number duhhhhhhh

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Whats the difference between KFC and Starbucks? KFC didn't murder your sister.

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Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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what is worse than falling off a bridge? .. getting pushed off a bridge

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting at your doorstep? matt what do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water? bob what do you call a man that just had his daughter taken away from him? ...sam

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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What is dull and has no point? A pencil without its point

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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