Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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Q:Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: Because she has no arms. ..... Knock knock! who's there? Not Sara, she has no arms and doesn't have the abitlity to knock.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops