Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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Indians

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i committed murder

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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