Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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The Grinch stole Christmas, he accidentally dropped it and Christmas was ruined for everyone life sucked -shane,Adam,David and Riley go cry about it

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whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

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There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

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Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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Yo momma so stupid she scored poorly on her SAT's in high school. She couldn't graduate college and now works a dead end job as a waitress.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops