these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

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A bar walks into a man

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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