What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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