A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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whats does a dog cat spider and rat have in common?the dog cat and rat are all mammals.Exept for the rat idiot!!you should have figured THAT out before!!!

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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what do u call an elephant in a car? nothing elephants cant fit in cars

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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deez nuts

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was persecuted for his faith.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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