Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

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How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

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why did'n the baby wake up from his nap? because he was dead

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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hey fat ass u want some butter with them rolls?

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Cause violence is against the law

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

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who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops