Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

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What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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