What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So a man walking down a nature trail came across an injured fox laying on the ground in pain, it looked like it was attacked recently. There wasn't much the man could do at the time, so he gently picked up the fox and rushed the fox to his house. The man arrives moments later at his house with the fox. There were a lot of options the man could choose, but he went with a simple recipe. The man grabbed a knife and gutted the fox, removing all unnecessary organs. He then skinned the fox of it's fur. He sliced the head off, cut the legs to a stub, and stuffed it. He gave it a nice seasoning and placed it in the oven at about 350F for 6 hours. When the fox was perfectly cooked, it was taken out of the oven and left to sit for about 5 minutes to cool. He cut a chunk of meat from the dish and sat down to eat. "What a fine meal" the man said.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

thumb_up thumb_down +5

My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Man U

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops