Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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What's sad about a mexican man dying in a car crash? He had a family that loved and cared for him.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jew and a Boy-scout A: Boy-scouts come back from camp

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

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What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

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So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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