Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

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A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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