Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

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What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? A: Yes

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What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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glasses, jacket, shirt They call me glasses, jacket, shirt man. I never leave the house...without my brodies. hehehe hahaha hohoho!

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what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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All these jokes are so much funnier when I read them during class, laughing my ass off and everybody's looking at me like I'm retarded

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Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops