How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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why was the stone green? I dont know thats why im asking -_-

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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