Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

guess what? bannanas

Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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