Me: Hey mom Mom: Hey Son Me: Whats? for dinner? Mom: I dont know

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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What did the girl say to the boy? You are a boy.

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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HELLO EVERYONE

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I OFFERED YOU SOME CEREAL, MADE OUT OF MY DOGS POO BY VICKY AND RENATA WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops