whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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I asked her where you were.

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

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Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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well use a tissue!

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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Two Black Males walk into a bar. A white old lady leaves cautiously. Everyone else stays and has a great time with them as they are actually two very good guys, and funny too.

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How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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