What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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Do you know whats a joke? Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

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Two Black Males walk into a bar. A white old lady leaves cautiously. Everyone else stays and has a great time with them as they are actually two very good guys, and funny too.

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

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What's worse than getting a F on your History test? The millions of children around your age that cannot even afford to go to school, most likely because they live in a third world country.

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So, there was two monkeys sitting in a bath tub one says "Hey, could you pass the soap?" the other says "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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