Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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woman's rights

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

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What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

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A:Wanna hear a joke? B: Sure A: A joke

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What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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Robin, get in the car!

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops