A blind man walks into a bar. He backs up, takes two steps to the right, and walks around the bar rubbing his forehead.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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A muslim in Iraq was sniped in the head by US forces. He was a terrorist, who killed 18 innocent people.

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a jew walked into a bar-mitzvah

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jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

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Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

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A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

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How do you make a anti-joke on this website? Type it out, click I have read and agree to the Terms of Service, then press submit.

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How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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