Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

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Yo Mama just died.

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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guess what>? your mum lol

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Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he got hit by a car because he wasn't aware of the dangers of not looking both ways. Bufoon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops