Why is my penis rainbow colored?

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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69

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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Roses are flowers.

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

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So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops