Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

Whats the defination of cruelty

What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...