My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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