How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

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What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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knock knock who's there? faith

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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