Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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rarw

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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