why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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Black people having a Job.

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why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

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How do you kill a beetle? Wait outside his apartment and shoot him

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What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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