i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

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read this sentence again.

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How do you confuse a blonde? To get to the other side

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A russian gives away vodka.

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, please, get in the Batmobile

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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What do you give a black man for his Christmas? A gift that you feel would suit his personality so that he may draw enjoyment from said gift.

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What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

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A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

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Guest what in the butt

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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